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Walking into a hotel wearing red heels, a red collar, and a red trench coat over lacy black lingerie is where this particular story starts. Me, on my way to meet a Dom on a drizzly Monday night in room 323. As I enter the room, I watch as he sees how I’m dressed for him, and I like the way it catches his attention. Erik is a tall man with soft doe eyes; he’s calm and thoughtful with a hint of nerd. 

“You look amazing,” he says as he hugs me before stepping back to look at me. I smile at him, softly, submissively. 

“I’m glad you like it, Master Erik,” I say. “I’m not wearing much underneath.” At this, he twists his lips into a smile before sliding his hands across my coat. 

“Let’s save that treat for later. Right now, we’re going to spend some time at the bar, so we can talk and get to know each other more.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” I tell him, and he smiles at me. 

“There’s one caveat, though.” 

“Oh really, what is it?” 

“You’re going to wear this.” He holds up a pink vibe. It’s U-shaped and is part internal and part external. “I have the controls for it on my phone,” he explains. I look at the vibe. I smile, excited and a little nervous. This is going to be a first. 

 “Get on the bed on all fours,” he tells me in his soft, yet strong, command style. He lifts the bottom of my coat up to expose my ass. He pauses, admiring and touching me. He puts some lube on the vibe and then pulls my outfit to the side, so he can spread my already wet lips with his fingers. He gently pushes the toy into me before lowering my jacket back over my ass. 

“Good girl,” he says.

I roll onto my back and ask him to take a picture of me. He doesn’t know it, but I have you in mind. I want to show you this moment.

I stand up, and we kiss.

“Can I thank you?” I say with a docile smile on my face. His eyes gleam when he realizes that I’m lowering my body in front of him, looking up with a smile as I wrap my fingers around the waistband of his joggers.

“Ask for it,” he tells me. 

“May I taste you, Master Erik?” I say as I look up at him, my eyes deep pools of obedience as I wait for his permission. He nods his head, and my hands pull him free. My mouth encircles him while my tongue welcomes him into me. His hands caress my head as I give him a blow job, not to completion, but just a small appetizer. 

“That’s my little fuck toy,” Erik tells me as I slide my hands up his shaft while slurping him with my mouth. Then, I stand, and we kiss.  

As we near the elevators, Erik takes out his phone and gives me my first dose of what he’s going to give me over the next hour of our conversation, intermittent hands-off stimulation. I jump slightly at the sudden movement inside of me. It feels good, but my main reaction is a big smile at this new, naughty game we’re playing.

Thankfully, when we take our seats, I realize that the background music in the space is loud enough to cover the sounds of the vibe that Erik keeps turning on and off. As we sit there talking, I can feel myself getting wetter. I shift on my seat as he increases the intensity and plays with the vibe patterns. I find myself from time to time rocking slightly forward and back, playing with the way the sensations hit my body. 

Erik asks me questions about myself. He also asks me questions regarding what I like and what I don’t like sexually. Do I like flogging? What things turn me on? What types of touch do I like? And so on. He’s clearly trying to figure me out, to learn what he can do to please me. 

We go back to the room around 10 PM. In the elevator, he tells me to turn around and put my hands on the wall. I follow his directions and am rewarded with his touch sliding up my thighs to caress my ass. The bell dings, and we leave. 

In the room, we dim the lights, and I put on a sultry playlist on Spotify, a blend of Alte Cruise and 50 shades. I slowly unbutton my jacket, revealing the black lace bodysuit I have underneath. His eyes stay locked on me, roaming every part of my body.

“Face the wall,” he tells me, and when I turn around, he specifies, “Hands on the wall.” I do what he asks and wait for him to decide what to do with me there, waiting with my legs apart and my hands resting on the creamy print of the hotel wallpaper. 

Erik’s kind of dom play is all about providing pleasure. The vibe and the conversation, those were for me. This moment with my hands on the wall is also for me because Erik slowly and sensually runs his hands across my body, caressing me and awakening my skin with the tips of his fingers. 

He tells me to turn around. When I do, his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me in. We stand, wrapped in each other’s arms, kissing for a long moment. 

“All fours on the bed,” he tells me, and when I do, “God, you look so good.” Erik pauses for a second and then pulls out a blindfold. As he ties it, my world goes black, and my focus shifts away from sight and toward my other senses. The air in the room is a bit chill, and I can feel the follicles in my skin shift as my hair stands from the coolness and from the anticipation.  

Erik touches me, running his warm and strong hands over my skin. Then, he crosses my ankles, posing my body before taking several photos. Erik is a man of many hobbies, and photography is one of them. Here are a couple pictures to help your imagination of this moment.

Erik puts his phone down and continues his pleasuring of my body. He runs his hands across the smooth curves of my waist, my hips, my thighs – leaving trails of desire glowing across me. The sensation of not being able to see is just what I need to quiet my overactive brain, to keep me focused only on these hands exploring me. My body purrs at the touch, building my desire to have him inside of me, to feel him pressing into me. 

A moment of silence falls. His touch disappears, and my skin peaks in anticipation, waiting – needing more. Then,  the touch of his hand on my back and a vibrator on my pussy consume my attention. Gentle pleasure, then a sharp slap on my ass that rings out into the room, then soft sensations again.

Erik climbs onto the bed and turns me over, his fingers pulling my lingerie to the side and his mouth coming down to my pussy to taste the pleasure he’s brought dripping from me. I twist as he leans over me,  so I can reach my mouth toward his hard cock, to surround him with my mouth. We’re in some contorted version of 69. He’s on his knees leaning over me, and although my hips are flat, my upper body is twisted toward him. He has leverage to thrust into my mouth, which he does, letting the length and girth of him fill me as his own mouth covers my kitty, his tongue sliding between my lips. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” he says again. He pulls my blindfold off and kisses me, the salty fresh taste of me sweet on his tongue. As we kiss, he moves on top of me, pushing my back down onto the bed. The feel of him above me,  of his weight and his desire arouse me more than anything else has.  I can feel it, deep inside of me, that craving for his cock. The walls of my pussy sweat with desire for it; my body arches pushing for it; my hands wrap around, pulling at him as I moan. 

“I want you.” 

“Ask for it.” 

“Master Erik, please. I need you inside of me, please,” my voice rasps in a soft, desirous tone. 

Erik puts on a condom and gives me what I want with my lingerie still on, just pulled to the side. 

“I’m enjoying my little fuck toy,” Erik tells me as he slow grinds his cock deep into me. 

“Oh, Master Erik, you can enjoy your fuck toy whenever you want,” I tell him, my eyes doelike and arms pinned above my head by his strong hands. 

~ 

Now, allow me to take a quick little aside – you should know by now that I can’t help but be wordy and analytical at times. 

I can imagine some women, some other feminists, would be disgusted at a woman acting out such things, saying such things.  Call a man Master? Let him call you his fuck toy? His play thing? Never! It’s antifeminist. It’s degrading. It’s objectifying!

I can hear the complaints. And perhaps they have some validity. Maybe I find it arousing because my own erotic development happened in a culture steeped in patriarchy. At times, I find myself asking where the line is between empowerment and objectification. I find myself digging deep and reflecting on the things I’ve been taught, trying to weed out what doesn’t serve me. It’s a process and one I’m not near completing. 

Yet, in my current frame of reference, I don’t feel objectified. I don’t feel antifeminist. I enjoy playing submissive to Erik. It turns me on. I enjoy the seductive nature of Lila and the art my feminine beauty and erotic mind can create. It turns me on. And I most definitely consider myself to be an empowered woman – an educated feminist who demands equality and respect.

I’ve come to the conclusions that a truly empowered woman is one who is so empowered that she can be and do whatever the fuck she wants, even if that means playing subservient to a man because she thinks it’s hot. 

True freedom is not a battle against the patriarchy. It is not proving we are anti-patriarchy; it is not feeling empowered by always showing power. Rather, it is deleting the whole shitty concept of patriarchy alltogether and doing whatever the fuck we want. That is true freedom. So yes, I’ll refer to myself as Master Erik’s little fuck toy if I want, and I don’t feel any less empowered doing it. 

~

Erik turns me over and comes behind me in doggy style. He pushes into me and weaves his hands through my hair toward my scalp to skillfully grab a handful of my thick locks. 

“Fuck this is hot,” he tells me as he pulls my head back slightly. In this moment, my body – positioned by him in the exact form of his wishing –  exists simply to absorb the things he’s doing to me. It’s satisfying, this surrendering of control, this being in the moment and not needing to think. For someone who spends too much time inside my creative mind,  not thinking is a treat. Erik takes out his phone and records several short videos and snaps a few pictures. 

He shows me one of the videos. It’s taken from his point of view,  looking down from above.  His arm can be seen stretching out to hold my hair. His cock is just barely visible as it slides in and out of me. My ass and the curve of my hips to my waist look – if I do say so myself –  hot as fuck. My favorite part of the video is the audio. The sounds of enjoyment from us are soft,  yet persistent, authentic. 

Erik pulls out and turns me over,  entering me in missionary, coming above me with his weight in just the way I like. I pull my legs up and moan; his body on mine feels so good. At the beginning of the night, he told me that he was going to put his cum on my titties, but that doesn’t happen. I’m discovering that the position that gets me close,  that arches my back and turns up my volume is also the position that seems to bust men’s balls.  

So far, Luke is the only one who can hold on during what is apparently me looking really hot or perhaps my body arching in a way that feels just too damn good because Erik loses his carefully crafted control. He cums deep, thrusting inside me as he does, all plans to shower me out the window as he loses himself inside of me. He isn’t the first casualty. Getting me into this position and hearing my breaths catch and feeling my pussy open and pulse in desire is something that seems to make them all lose themselves. 

It’s late, and I spend the night with Erik. We fuck one more time, at 3:00 AM when his work alarm goes off, and then I drive home to be there to help Luke get our son ready for daycare in the morning. Overnights were something that Luke hadn’t been comfortable with at first, but recently they became an option for us. I am the first to take the experience of sleeping next to someone, someone other than Luke. 

~

The next day within the comfort and familiarity of Luke’s body and our room, Luke gives me the orgasm I hadn’t had the night before. He tells me that I’m the reason his abs look like the Rock’s. The position that can get me off without a toy – a skill I’m working on developing – is apparently no easy feat. I guess I’m the girl for a man who likes a challenge.

It builds deep and slow and inside as he thrusts and slides across my vulva. The feeling of heat washes across my clit and my pussy as the sensations of his cock pressing into me captivate my attention until all the eroticism of the last two days explode from within me.